Wow. This blog has sat silent for many weeks. We hit some mountains- big ones and seemingly
impassible ones. For several weeks
our adoption future was unknown. Due to unforeseen circumstances, we didn’t
know if we could continue both financially and logistically. But in His way, His timing, after weeks
of silence and then within 24 hours, He literally moved the mountain. He moved it by providing just what we
needed, when we needed it in ways we could have never predicted nor expected. He showed His faithfulness and HIS
heart for adoption to us. When we hit a brick wall and by sight, saw no where
to go, no way to more forward, He moved through the generosity of a couple in
our lives. Literally moments after
I prayed out loud with Jeremy for Him to show us His will for this adoption, we
received the call. Time and time
again in this last week, after weeks of mountains, He has cleared a path as
only He can. Logistics became
uncertain, adoption is such a complicated process with so many moving parts and
yet just today, as I write this, several moving parts fell into alignment in
ways they shouldn’t have- in ways that seemed impossible, just so perfectly
that we can continue our adoption.
There are so many lessons, so many ways He has grown us and
changed and refined us these last 6-7 weeks that I think I could write a short
novel. However, Jeremy said it
best when he said we were tried and tested [and have grown!] in primarily two
things:
1.
How much do we trust God?
I think it took things falling apart in a way
for us to totally surrender. At this point, my planning, type-A self has
released any sense of control.
Timing, provision, and the means by which this adoption will come to
fruition are let go and [joyfully] released to Him. I say joyfully because in other seasons, I may have
surrendered plans, dreams, hopes, and things I thought were sure, but it was
often not joyfully- it was about hitting the end of my rope and realizing I had
no other option. Walking the path
to adoption has made me realize that there is no other place to be than a
joyful submission to His will, His way, His timing. That is the place of peace. My faith has grown through this. At times, I walked by sight
and felt helpless. At other times,
I clung to His promises and recognized His sovereignty and found rest in the
truth that what He wills, will be.
It was just a matter of patience, of trust, and of faith. The verse He gave us as we started this
entire process in November was Romans 12:12: “Rejoice in hope. Be patient in tribulation. Be constant in
prayer.” This has become a
life verse to us. Time and time
again, when waves of difficulty and weariness come- we say this to one another,
we pray it and we find that this is calling for our lives and we are learning
these truths in deep ways through the journey of adoption.
2.
How much do we believe in adoption?
I will say, if we were not called, if we
did not feel this call in the depths of our hearts, we would have stopped long
ago. This process is draining, wearisome, full of trials and unexpected
hardships. And yet, our belief in
adoption has only grown. Our
desire to fulfill the calling of adoption and to open our lives up to a child
to be in our family forever, has remained. If anything, it has deepened. As we came against obstacles in this process, our pastor
said, “Anything great is worth suffering for and the greater the cause the more
proportionate the suffering must be. You have been adopted into the family of
God…at great cost. God calls you
to adopt a child into your home so that His adoptive love will be reflected
through your sacrifice.”
This is so true and really encapsulates our
hearts here. We want to look our child in the eye one day and share that we
pursued them through hardships and obstacles, we loved them with a love that
couldn’t be explained and fought for them because they are worth it and because
God is good and loves them and pursues them. And truly, the cost of OUR own adoption into the family of God
was Christ on the cross. Our
momentary sufferings are nothing in comparison. Our heartaches are minute when standing next to the
suffering of Christ. The bigger
picture, the full story here is one that I believe will be beautiful and full
of much joy. But we walk the line
of uncertainty and the unknown in adoption. We walk the road that is less
traveled and more rugged. We follow
a path looking upward and onward- because He can [and does] move mountains.
In awe of the One who moves mountains,
Kate
