Moving Mountains

Wow. This blog has sat silent for many weeks.  We hit some mountains- big ones and seemingly impassible ones.  For several weeks our adoption future was unknown. Due to unforeseen circumstances, we didn’t know if we could continue both financially and logistically.  But in His way, His timing, after weeks of silence and then within 24 hours, He literally moved the mountain.  He moved it by providing just what we needed, when we needed it in ways we could have never predicted nor expected.  He showed His faithfulness and HIS heart for adoption to us. When we hit a brick wall and by sight, saw no where to go, no way to more forward, He moved through the generosity of a couple in our lives.  Literally moments after I prayed out loud with Jeremy for Him to show us His will for this adoption, we received the call.  Time and time again in this last week, after weeks of mountains, He has cleared a path as only He can.  Logistics became uncertain, adoption is such a complicated process with so many moving parts and yet just today, as I write this, several moving parts fell into alignment in ways they shouldn’t have- in ways that seemed impossible, just so perfectly that we can continue our adoption.

There are so many lessons, so many ways He has grown us and changed and refined us these last 6-7 weeks that I think I could write a short novel.  However, Jeremy said it best when he said we were tried and tested [and have grown!] in primarily two things:

1.     How much do we trust God? 

I think it took things falling apart in a way for us to totally surrender. At this point, my planning, type-A self has released any sense of control.  Timing, provision, and the means by which this adoption will come to fruition are let go and [joyfully] released to Him.  I say joyfully because in other seasons, I may have surrendered plans, dreams, hopes, and things I thought were sure, but it was often not joyfully- it was about hitting the end of my rope and realizing I had no other option.  Walking the path to adoption has made me realize that there is no other place to be than a joyful submission to His will, His way, His timing.  That is the place of peace.  My faith has grown through this. At times, I walked by sight and felt helpless.  At other times, I clung to His promises and recognized His sovereignty and found rest in the truth that what He wills, will be.  It was just a matter of patience, of trust, and of faith.  The verse He gave us as we started this entire process in November was Romans 12:12:  “Rejoice in hope. Be patient in tribulation. Be constant in prayer.”   This has become a life verse to us.  Time and time again, when waves of difficulty and weariness come- we say this to one another, we pray it and we find that this is calling for our lives and we are learning these truths in deep ways through the journey of adoption.

2.     How much do we believe in adoption?

I will say, if we were not called, if we did not feel this call in the depths of our hearts, we would have stopped long ago. This process is draining, wearisome, full of trials and unexpected hardships.  And yet, our belief in adoption has only grown.  Our desire to fulfill the calling of adoption and to open our lives up to a child to be in our family forever, has remained.  If anything, it has deepened.  As we came against obstacles in this process, our pastor said, “Anything great is worth suffering for and the greater the cause the more proportionate the suffering must be. You have been adopted into the family of God…at great cost.  God calls you to adopt a child into your home so that His adoptive love will be reflected through your sacrifice.”

This is so true and really encapsulates our hearts here. We want to look our child in the eye one day and share that we pursued them through hardships and obstacles, we loved them with a love that couldn’t be explained and fought for them because they are worth it and because God is good and loves them and pursues them.  And truly, the cost of OUR own adoption into the family of God was Christ on the cross.  Our momentary sufferings are nothing in comparison.  Our heartaches are minute when standing next to the suffering of Christ.  The bigger picture, the full story here is one that I believe will be beautiful and full of much joy.  But we walk the line of uncertainty and the unknown in adoption. We walk the road that is less traveled and more rugged.  We follow a path looking upward and onward- because He can [and does] move mountains.

In awe of the One who moves mountains,

Kate