Jeremy and I continue to grow in and through this process. I am realizing there is no way a person can be the same as there were before they began their adoption journey. Two verses have really been sticking out to me in the last few weeks. Again and again, the Lord has brought me to them.
I learned months ago that this adoption process wasn't going to be in my timing. As a planner, this was hard to release- but it has also been tremendously freeing to rest in the truth that HE has it all. HE has a child already ordained for our family. HE knows the way he will bring it to pass. HE knows how all the big and minute details will fall into place. And so, I continue to stand on that and repeat, "His will, His way, for His glory" in my heart daily. Really, this process isn't about us, its about Him and it's about the blessed child He will gift us with. We have been so moved by the amount of people that ask us how this process is on a continual basis. It is so encouraging to know that so many are thinking and more so, PRAYING for us in this. A few of asked us, why? Isn't this too hard? Isn't it too much money? It is too hard, it is too much money, for US. BUT, it isn't too hard for Him. And where He guides, He provides, so it isn't too much money for Him. And truly, can you limit the price on a human life? Should it cost $30,000+ to adopt? I don't think so- and quite honestly I still don't get it. BUT- I don't have to. We have been called to this journey and we obey. We go forth joyfully, knowing it is part of His plan for our lives, and for this child's life. We consider it a privilege, no matter how hard, draining, wearing, and costly it may be.
And that is where Matthew 6:21 has come in. We have saved for years for this adoption- and still, we can't move forward because it isn't enough. Would it be easier in some ways to spend the money elsewhere- or to keep it in savings, of course! BUT, where our treasure is, our heart will be also. Do we treasure comfort above His calling? Do we treasure money more than His will? Do we treasure convenience over eternal joy? This is where the rubber meets the road of our faith. It isn't easy. Sometimes, this has been scary. There have even been moments where I have wanted to give up. But it is in those times where I hear Him speak to my soul- clearer than I have ever felt or heard Him in my life. He says, "I am the Father of the fatherless. I am calling you to SHOW my love for this child. To DEMONSTRATE My heart for adoption." God is the first author of adoption. I am His because He adopted me. His passion for adoption as a whole and for our future child specifically, is far more than I can begin to understand.
Our passion for this adoption grows, even as the cost (time, finances and heart) grows. And we are so thankful that we are not walking this journey alone. Your prayers, your care, mean more than we can convey!
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